I, me and BUF... (Ishita)

Hmmm… Not that I intended to get here today and do a post. But I guess it’s become necessary to do so. For one thing I haven’t made a formal announcement of my extended break from BUF though I have blogged about it in my ‘personal’ blog to which some of you do have access but it’s a different story that not many get around it. And of course another reason for this post is simply to question the absence of many of us from BUF. I think I know why Kesh feels the way she does right now because I’ve been through the same feelings many times over here on BUF. Every single time someone’s walked away with or without a reason. I don't know if reading this will change your mind about staying or leaving Kesh. But I know for a fact BUF won't be the same without you....

BUF by the way…just in case any of you didn’t notice…will be completing a year in March (and almost touching the 450 post mark...this one's no. 449) and amazingly it feels like more than a year has passed by when I look at the way BUF’s been. Personally, I think I lost more than gained here. But the optimist in me chooses to look at the positives rather than the negatives. That’s simply the way I’ve conditioned my mind. It may not always be realistic but it works for me.

I guess in many ways the loss of friends from BUF doesn’t hurt as much because I do still keep in touch out of BUF. What hurts is the loss of BUF as I thought it would be…could be….should have been. A huge part of my resentment lies in the way I probably handled it. I sometimes get confused as to which is the right approach. When I would email frequently and do updates and send out personal mails etc etc, some termed it pushy and asked for more freedom to post per will. When I made BUF more flexible and open, I found BUFer’s losing interest. I’m not sure what works best for BUF….or maybe BUF doesn’t work at all? It’s an idea like many that just fizzles away once the novelty is gone…maybe that’s it?

But I don’t want to sit and analyse it all here. I’ve been more or less off blogging and the virtual world for the past month…though the blogger in me does do the random post now and then on “Daily Dose” (my personal space). It has a lot to do with some changes in my personal life. These are days of complete relaxation and anticipation for me. I’ve been told to stay completely stress free so I intend to keep it that way!! I’m superstitious I guess which is why I won’t blog about it openly but you’re free to make your own guesses :)

And yes, my past experience in being an active BUFer has been anything but stress free :P … No seriously, I enjoyed it (despite the many mistakes I might have made) but the times when issues cropped up took a huge toll on me and people living around me, which is why I’ve been advised to stay off BUF in terms of handling stuff around here.

Of course that would mean having someone else or everyone taking the onus of keeping BUF going. I’d rather everyone did so. Make your suggestions in the shoutbox., do an occasional update, wish each other on your special days….etc. Just be interactive and hang around chit chatting. No one gets around here anymore…. It’s simply sad :( *sigh*

I will be back you know. I can’t be kept away forever. But I’m wondering what will I come back to? That’s the thought that plays on my mind….the answer to which I dread.

That’s all for now…I’m hoping some of u will drop by to read and comment and maybe come up with some answers.

4th February and 5th February are special days … Deepthi and Uttara’s birthday respectively! Nope I’m not wishing you yet :P but I hope to be around and write on your day uttsy :)!

9th February is Rajbir and Kavita's anniversary...another milestone...another year of togetherness :)

24th February is also an old long missing BUFer and dear friend to many...Kathy's anniversary. Miss u girl!

I haven’t accessed the team mailbox in ages. If I’ve missed any special days, I sincerely apologise. It’s not intentional at all and I want to thank Rajbir for the lovely dedication for Messy. Hope you had a lovely day and have many more such special and happy birthdays :)

Wishing you all a whole lot of reasons to smile :)

Ishi