An open letter to the Prime Minister of India.

Dear Prime Minister

 

By now, I am sure you know none of us envy you. Atleast the educated-not-wanting-a-ministerial-chair, sane minded ones amongst us.

 

You indeed are surrounded in some murky environs:

 

Fellow politicians with an expertise in the foot in mouth syndrome to put even good old Dubya and Paris Hilton put together, to shame.

 

A motley crew of alliance members with a 'DEEP' understanding of the current geopolitical and security situation. Incidentally they would all be out of their depth even in a parking lot puddle.

 

You had to give up your best man in the worst financial meltdown thanks to Shivraj Patil finally waking up to the fact that it’s time he put his political chair holding ambitions to sleep.

 

An opposition that beats even Ekta Kapoor’s knack of thriving on human misery to release advertising using terror attacks as a subject (ironically, their reign on the chair wasn’t a bed of roses for the country either).

 

A coast guard system that makes the Indian shores seem like the open gates of Appu Ghar on Children’s Day.

 

A stickler for protocol, neighboring leader of state who actually believes that your external affairs minister called him on the cell phone to make ‘phraindsheep’ with him and then threaten dire consequences unless his demands were met.

 

Laloo Yadav. Maya “bhenji” Wati. Vijay Mallya. Barkha Dutt. And a demanding lady boss.

The list goes on.

 

You really don’t have an easy life, I know. But since you are the leader of the nation, we have no one else to turn to.

 

We do not want a war Mr. Prime Minister. We want peace.

 

We do not want to hurt Pakistan. We want to annihilate extremism. And that does not involve normal citizens of any country. Or any faith.

 

We do not want bravado. We need alertness. Where every time something goes wrong, those who are at fault have more to say than just ‘ooops’.

 

We do not want blame takers and resignations on moral grounds. We want accountability. And some basic testicular fortitude in those who hold offices.

 

We do not want Barkha Dutt. We want news. She alone can give the entire opposition a tough fight for Ekta Kapoor’s throne of the ultimate human misery exploiter. Asking people who have just lost their kin “what are your feelings right now”. And yes, the gem: asking the NSG commander as he is entering the Nariman house amidst heavy firing “what is your strategy”?

 

Barkha-e-Tauba ! I hope the UN puts her on the list as well.

 

We do not need war. No we don’t.

 

For all the people who died in Mumbai on 26/11 and the million others in the acts of terrorism that ravished this land, do not send more Indians to the battlefield.

 

Because then, this will all go on.

 

This is what I suggest you can do:

 

Tighten our borders. If they cannot get in, they cannot cause harm.

 

Pay our security forces better. If they cannot be bribed, they cannot be breached.

 

Be clinical and ruthless with the politicians. You know, I know and we all know who are the ones who need this treatment. (Have Ram Gopal Varma make a new political potboiler – DeshMoorkh. The rest of the star cast is a ready set of asteroids led by R. R. Patil. This set of politicians will go far. The sooner they start, the better.)

 

Implement into law a bill that makes every politician with an ambition to hold office, hold a basic education first. The Prime Minister being educated enough, making up for the entire cabinet and political system doesn’t work.

 

Make public the ‘evidence’ you have. There is little to be gained with secrecy and protocol. As it is, we are on cell phone - first name basis with Zardari. Let the world know who they are, where they are and who shelters them. Remember it is politicians and power brokers who you need to target. Not innocent citizens. If innocent citizens are the collateral damage for our objectives, we are no different from the ones who did 26/11.

 

Be nice to Asif Ali Zardari. It is not his fault that he is brainless, spineless and powerless. Probably you can send Barkha Dutt as your special envoy with all the evidence to convince him if you have to. And threaten to keep her there till they get their act together. Atleast one of the two national issues we face everyday will be surely solved.

 

I have lots more to say, but as I said, I am aware of your tight schedule and tighter leash.

 

I hope these suggestions help. Till you do something about it, all we can do is pray for peace and seek sanity by staying away from NDTV 24x7.

 

 

 

 

Of clicks and claps! (Harjee)

Unconditional Love*

To start with this is the best photograph I have ever taken.

When I first published it on my blog, besides the kind words, I was accused of voyeurism and infringing the privacy of underprivileged people.

But this is a humbling picture.
Besides the pun in the title, this picture shows the personification of a phrase, used and abused over time to fill in the demand and supply issues of personal relationships.
And the twin sister of unconditional love - zero expectations, finds a home here too.
If nothing else, it works as a cynicism buster for all the broken hearts.

Your errors lie elsewhere.


There are a few other pictures that I would like to share with you.
Each one of them, at some level has given me a reason to smile.
And that, for me, is above all.

Even though I am itching to, I will not post any more pictures here. It will be unfair to poor John & Ishi. Considering I gave them both major static regarding the slow loading time of the BUF page. But what I will do is share one link with you :

Flights - The day my father retired from his services of 37 years, a huge 3 feet by 2 feet blow-up of this picture with the accompanying text was gifted to him. The purpose being to assuage the wonderful mans fear of approaching stagnation.
It worked :)

There are more pictures at | P H O T O C O P Y |
For me each one of them has a story to tell.
A reason to smile. A moment to cherish.

And in reality, a monument to my own ego, where I go around stealing frames from others lives, to tell my stories.

Would be great to have you all there.

Bas Ek ? (Harjee)

First and foremost let me start by saying that I smell something fishy here.

The earlier topic stipulated 10 things.

This one is about one person you want to spend a day with.

Whats with you Ishi? Whats with the Kanjoosi?

I can't restrict my narcissism to 10 things. Unless you allow sub-heads.

And I definitely can't take a pick of just one person from BUF. There are so many lovely looking ladies here. (And some less lovely but passable looking men too.)

Anyways… on with it.

I shall in all the generosity of my heart spend more than a day for BUF.

It shall be a week.

Monday – Keshi.

How predictable. But nothing better than an overdose of oomph to start the week.

Geography aside, this was one that wasn't tough to decide.

I heard this story from Australia where a world class photographer was shooting the Pallazo Versace. And Keshi walked by.

No prizes for guessing what part of the picture was in, and what part was out of focus.

Donnie (Donatella ) goes green, Group Versace screams,

C'mon you fools, you should know Keshi rules !

Tuesday – Neha C (Chhabra, not Counsel. But both work :D)

She's a sweetheart. The fact that she owes me a box of chocolates and this would be a 'mangal' day to collect them is not half the reason. Chocobox (the third 'C' twin) as I call her is definitely one of the most elusive people I have ever known.

This, will make up for it.

Wednesday – Ishi

To avoid angry glances from hubby dearest she gets Wednesday.

Otherwise………..

Thursday – Mala

I have a thing for blurry things: D

Some call it ambiguous. I call it deliciously vague.

And I will be moving to Bombay soon and this is one buffer I need ;)

Friday - Michelle

Adventure lover. Music lover. Fitness lover. Writing lover. Talking lover. Food lover.

Jeez…I'm already a lover.

Saturday - Puja

Sorry. No details here. Only for Puja to know ;)

And she can call to know more ;)

Sunday – Mr J

And finally, after having spent a week in the company of some lovely ladies I shall dedicate the Sunday to a very witty Mr J. Partly because I like the way he writes / comments. Partly because I am no sexist and do interact with men (fractionally though). And yes, a part because all women on BUF seem to be falling for this guy.

So I need to know, besides a house on a European island, dude…. What's your Mojo?

But now….. Kahaani mein twist hai !!!

If I were to spend an entire week with someone from BUF who would it be?

And the winner is…

*Drumrolls*

YASHITA.

The fact that we fight every time we talk (everyday) irrespective.

The fact that she accuses me of stalking her irrespective.

The fact that she loves the idea of me stalking her irrespective.

The fact that she is a complete kid at heart irrespective.

She is one of the best friends I made on blogland. And am immensely fond of her.

She is part reason I am moving to Bombay. Stalking her in Pune all the way from Bangalore was getting tough.

Moreover the chance to comprehensively torture her for a whole week is something I won't miss for anything.

Welcome to Planet Harjee (Intro)

Shit.
I'm late again.

A thousand apologies to all stake-holders of this blog. And another thousand for not being able to put up an Intro post even after the numerous reminders.

You see life for a copywriter (who has just been introduced to the term 'global hiring freeze' when asked for helping hands), living alone and away from home, addicted to aloo parantha and reduced to idli and sambhar, is not a walk in the park.
And if you add to that some very persistent (3 calls a day) and talented (emotional blackmail) parents who are determined to change my single status, it gets nasty this cocktail I tell you.
Time to read, let alone write seems to be a upgraded to wish-lists now.

I do not know what to say about myself. Besides the fact that I usually say what I think.
Just that at times (more often actually) what I say exits my mouth leaving two huge feet inside.

To some degree of variation, one may say I am an idealist.
But then again, I have reason to believe otherwise.

The rest, my friends, you shall have to find out for yourself.

Hopefully life will simplify over the next few days and I shall get to subject all of you to more of my verbosity.
Just one thing though.... please don't send me any messages or reminders to shut up then ;)

Cheers

Harjee