This was a wonderful space to hang out in and share our thoughts! But now we've all moved on and simply left our memories behind :-) ...

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Friends After Love (Sam)

Some say it's possible, some say it's not. My opinion is by large on the basis of the mentality of an individual and very much guided by the emotional involvement in the relationship. Again a guiding factor would be a one-way love or a reciprocated love. I guess you got the flow of my thought here. So, let me try and be clinical here (in the treatment of this topic).

1. One-way Love: In this case, what one ends up with is the guy/gal feels very strongly for the other one. Deliberates over the matter, and ends up bugging a few friends. Such is the flow of events as would have been often observed by some here, that at one point of time, the individual decides to proclaim the love that they have for the other one and finally come to conclusion. Result: "Yes"/"No". In case of a "No", one would find some sulking away to some remote corner of their immediate civilization and finally come back and join the crowd to be what they have always been. To remain friends, their relationship need to have the foundation of friendship and not love.

2. The Reciprocated Love: In this case, after things peter out, it is always difficult to be friends... or at least stay in constant touch. The reason being that the level of attachment was so much that they had never imagined life in any other shade. Some who take a pragmatic approach to life and are mentally prepared for something, might be able to salvage a meaningful relationship still. They call it being friends... somehow for me it is the remains of the love that was!!

Now the moot point is really possible to remain friends?? My answer is yes... it is possible.. but it's success is conditional!! It all depends on whether you are mature enough to deal with this new scene in your life? What was the basis of your relationship? Wonder how I can be so sure?? Been there done that... and not so long ago.. say less than a year..... :)

The decision is always yours.... the choice can be a difficult one.... but then it has to be done!!

P.S. - a hurried post.. so the thought process might appear very broken!!


  1. Tough one, but i think of it as a single way valve. Once you cross the line, its never the same.

    They say a relation is like a thread, if you try to mend it after its broken, it leaves knots behind.

    People can try and stay in touch, tehy may share their stories, their lives, but there is always a shadow of regret. There is always a tinge of the way things could have been.You can call it friendship, but that is just another name.

    Well written sam.

  2. nice thoughts....when it is unreciprocated love the events play out exactly the way u have written them most of the times...unless someone feels too srongly and goes overboard with/her obssesion...
    After a great love relationship...things never become the same as they were...because there is always a regret of not having the great thing together..maybe from one side or both sides..but yes there can remain a cordiality.... and sometimes friendly relations...and there have been cases,though, very rare of people getting back together... but all this happens only if there was some friendship in the love....

  3. @aakash: dats almost true aakash... and trust me i can vouch for that!! :)

    @sush: you are absolutely right!! if it's friendship which formed the base of the relationship then love might tide over for friendship to get a chance again otherwise.. the element cordiality is what rules the remains of a wonderful love story!!

  4. in the latter, i've seen it work out well after a relationship...i'd say it was a whole lot more "fun" and we were a lot better frenz... no regrets whatsoever and we wldn't wanna give this up to well have another chance at "love" unless of course with others... which we did :P

    so even when one talks of "regret" in friends after mutual love... i'd say that too is pretty 'cliche'd'

    ofcourse others may differ :)

  5. oi ishi!! ekdum barobar bola.... i don't think i can differ from dat one... coz.... forget it!! ;)

  6. Sam indeed a great post :))

    meien bhi likha hai Friends after love .... but its not clear n i dont know how to put it across

    But according to me Frnds after Love ...No ways Ex's can nvr be friends :))