This was a wonderful space to hang out in and share our thoughts! But now we've all moved on and simply left our memories behind :-) ...

Saturday, July 14, 2007

As Real As It Gets (Ishita)

I was never good at this. I mean at writing on “topics”. I think I am a better writer when I write according to my mood or what’s on my mind right then when I start typing. For me writing has been more or less like therapy and words my closest friend.

But yes I’ve posted on almost all the topics on BUF except the chain story because I may have ideas for a plot or many but I lack the ability to word my stories. And as luck would have it, so far most of the topics have been such that I have done posts on in my personal blogs. So I was pretty much copy pasting :)

Coming to the topic which is on right now, I have to give a fair enough warning that I am writing this out as I am thinking. So do not expect any structured flow of thought.

My journey here in the virtual world started one September afternoon…out of sheer boredom. We didn’t have broadband, so I would log in through dial up to check my precious Yahoo id for mails… from maa, my bro, some occasional mails from friends – no virtual! And I remember R mentioning to me that chatting was a good way to while away time and I was like….how can I simply befriend a stranger with no face and be friends with an id (or as I later discovered “nik”). The idea repelled me. I was a very face to face kind of person…still am.

But I sat there and logged into a site most of us are familiar with….IndiaTimes Chat! I used a nik that I simply put together … the first name a very predictable popular hindi movie character (think one of the biggest hits of 2004) and the last name of my neighbour who happened to walk past my window :P

And I entered into a world of strange faceless identities….words words…flowing fast and furious…emotions spilled through these words…I was caught in this crazy mix of “virtual” people. I sat most of the time staring at conversations, gauging people … sometimes getting a word or two in. But I made no friend as such. I was vary… I was suspicious and most of all I was fascinated. How real are these words? Or the people behind these words? How far could I trust them? How much should I let out…where do I refrain? I used my pseudo for almost a year. I projected the image of “ishita” but the use of an unfamiliar name made me feel secure.

Very few people knew the real me. Those who did I had come to trust over many conversations and heart to hearts.

I began to understand one of the essential things about virtual relationships… you learn to read emotions through words typed across your chat screen. You gauge unspoken feelings…you can even sense a sigh…you can even imagine the chuckle…you can even hear the laughter and see the crinkled eyes behind the rather simple sounding “LOL”

It’s been a long journey and there’s still a long road ahead…

But no journey is smooth sailing. I’ve faced my share of disappointments here. I’ve lost faith in some… I’ve learnt lessons I won’t forget.

If I’ve met people who have made me laugh, be myself and reach out to them…I’ve met people who’ve broken my trust, made me cry and question my beliefs.

There are misfits everywhere. They are there in our so called daily existence and they are here in the virtual world. And in both, they are of no consequence unless we give them undue importance.

What matters most is there are friends here who give me more assurance than most friends I have befriended in the “Real” world”

I’ve learnt through mistakes made, through emotions misplaced…I am not the same woman who sat here three years ago but what I am NOW is largely shaped by my experiences – good and bad – in the Virtual World.

NOPE...There is nothing VIRTUAL here! There’s nothing unreal about this world. It’s as real as it gets.

Yes ME…the “Ishita” who was once petrified by the simple question “ASL please?” … today breezes through the virtual world proud to be ME!

And with BUF we've proved that there's not much of a difference ... if any at all between what's Virtual and what's Real....I'd like to think that here we prove that the virtual complements the real and vice versa...right? :)


  1. heyy..i do get the GOLD! yeahhhh

    first of all..i love the way u draft ur thoughts...amazin ya!

    hmm..indiatimes chat eh?? i started wid yahoo chat..i tell ya aajkal thoda kharab chal raha hain scene...i mean we dun get to meet good ppl dese days...all indonesian, arab ppl

    the ironical thng is since u gotta son now, u can perhaps not mind him chattin a few years frm now..:P
    not a case wid me mom preys on me like nethin n tinks as of m doin somethin grave a mistake...gotta make her read all dis ya!

    u truly remind me of dose old chattin days and so many girl friends i had den...:P

    cheesy was one amongst em....hehe..u listenin??


  2. nice!!! yeah i do believe there are good and bad people everywhere including our virtual woorld...and it's upto us how we take it and give importance to them....

  3. @ wacko :) ... gotcha :P

    and u know wat i knew cheesy back on IT too *small world eh?* but m not very sure if she knows that the nik i used back then and well 'me' are the same :P... know wat i mean??

    oh and loony if u do, ssshhh...don tell plz :)

    u win GOLD for sure wacko and i don mind meetin up wid ur mom sumtime.... m gr8 @ gettin along wid mommies (was so even b4 i got married etc etc...)

    g'nite nw... phew it's l8!:)

  4. @ sush:) ... we stumble, we fall & then we get up and walk tall :) ... that's how we learn na to differentiate between wats right n wrong :)

    hv a fun wkend:)...wish i cld join u guys :(

  5. u said it ishi.. being virtual is never bein unreal.. n on the virtual world ishita rocks!!!! :))))

  6. u started in sept 2004...:) i started in october 2004...:). Michelle, Arif(Firacub1979) and Manicstreetpreacher(Ananya) were the only ppl who had the guts to take my boring attitude...:). It used to be really fun at times when arif wud turn up with a female nick and we wud start steamy conversation and all the other guys wud drop their cell numbers to him on pvt window...lolz

    There is nothing VIRTUAL here!****Absolutely...reminds me when one day the oldman finally managed to test my patience and ended up saying, would u cut the balls of a person of ur father's age and i replied, next time u come my way u'll see ur balls floating in ur sink. Lateron i got to know him good and since then its peace...:)

  7. ha true ishi....this is as true as it can get.......i "feel" upon IM and blog...

  8. You're so real Ishita ... when I'm reading your posts .. it's like am talking to you ... you just right ur mind dont ya? love the way u do it! :)

    i didnt knw u were from indiatimes as well btw! what was ur id there??? i was mumbai.chic n then cheesy.termite! lol

    and i cudnt agree more with the last few paras of ur post ... i so so so know what u mean ... anyway friends are friends ... whether real or virtual ... if u are destined to meet someone .. u wud meet him .. real or on the internet ..

  9. @ wacko

    lol do u still remember those days? when we both chatted for hours .. hiding from our moms? n then ... U CHANGED! hate u for tht !

  10. This comment has been removed by the author.

  11. @ diya:).. ty diya..:D! Me thinks it's BUF that rocckksss!! :D

  12. @ rajbir:)... yeah strange how we frequented the same site but never met up thre na?... aah well, better late than never :) ...

  13. @ vishesh:)... d very fact that we're all here and luvin it @ bloggin, chattin etc shows how real and genuine we find our interactions!

  14. If what you can touch and see is real, then pray bless me so that I can do neither.. for i believe in the thoughts... the feel of a tear... the sound of a laughter... the quiver of a voice... the song of a heart... and that which is not guided by eye-to-eye contact.... relationship is guided by intimacy.. and that can achieved through any means... i knw it!! have done it!!
    ishi.. you have articulated your thughts so well!! and knwing a few things abt me, i think u knw bttr than anyone else out here, how real things are for me, even if its just words typed by someone on the other end.... or just a voice over the phone.... ***smiles*** it can be more real than one can imagine!! ah!! rambling no as usual.. sorry ppl!! this topic is too close to my heart!! ciao!!

  15. A great insight to what it's all abt...ur a brilliant writer Ish..u know how to put across everything so neatly and accurately. U spoke my mind. TY!

    **you learn to read emotions through words typed across your chat screen.

    I so agree. Thats what it really is. There is no need to pretend/lie on the net..I dunno abt everyone else but myself and all my closest friends here speak their hearts in their blogs. I can just feel their emotions across the miles...

    thats what I love abt the net...u can be REAL with ur emotions as much as u want to...and there's always someone out there to listen to ur heart...


  16. awww Ishi you have written so well :))

    ""You gauge unspoken feelings"" So true :))

    You are a sweetheart ...its bcoz of you that i know so many of them today and feel so special to have to in my life .

    Thank you Sweetie and Kudos to you.