This was a wonderful space to hang out in and share our thoughts! But now we've all moved on and simply left our memories behind :-) ...

Tuesday, May 8, 2007

The Chef is here. (Mr. J)

1. Take a damn onion. A nice fat round juicy onion. Peel off it's covering. Take a sharp knife and start cutting it. Your tears start flowing, chop them with a vengeance until you have no more tears left.

2. Take one medium sized tomato. If you have a roomie, call them to the kitchen. Throw the tomato at them. If it doesn't give in, then it's just right. Now cut it.

3. You need one vessel that is shallow. Put it on the stove and throw in some oil.

4. Add the chopped onions and stir occasionally. When you get tired and before the onions get burnt, add a teaspoon of ginger & garlic paste or chopped. Stir for some more time.

5. Add the tomatoes and keep stirring, while your mind goes to the pizza hot line which delivers to you in under 30 minutes and you ask yourself what the hell are you doing.

6. Take the chicken piece that you have skinned before. If you haven't, then you're in deep shit. Turn off the stove and start skinning. Once ready, dump it in the cooking pot. Curse yourself for not ordering the pizza.

7. Add 2-3 cups of water. A pinch of salt, red chili powder and set to low flame.

8. Pick up a can of beer or whiskey, go watch TV or do something.

9. When your done with the first round of drinks, head back to the kitchen. If you are not feeling a bit woozy repeat step 8 again. When you are just perfect, add a pinch of salt, some more red chili powder. Look around, see what else you can find. Dump them all in. Curry powder, garam masala, cilantro, pepper.

10. Turn the stove to high flame. Grab another beer or whiskey and go watch TV. When you are done, the meal is ready.

Honestly at that point, you seriously wouldn't be able to tell the difference. You are drunk and you are hungry.

Guten Appetite!!

That is assuming rice or something else is already prepared to go along with the curry. If not, it's time you ordered that pizza.


  1. This post is dedicated to Ishita

  2. oi stranger, whats cooking. i didnt get further than the first paragraph as i couldnt spot what your mission was.....

    o jaane jaaana...hai saad jab tak..tumhe mohabbat..

  3. john honey...looks like competition is waking up...but i dont need to fear as i have you....ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.....
    Off my chair LOL'g :P

  4. e way way tooo good!!
    I instantly related my cooking bouts with this one

  5. This post is dedicated to Ishita.... oh...!! :))

    I have to tell u John I was wundering wat all d commotion was at home....wid Rajiv and Suchi...I mean there was Suchi all set to put up her post and Rajiv waiting to reply to the comments....andd whoosshhhh...U turn chef!!! :P

    LOL :D

    U had her hopping mad for a while till the whole "lets fix date" convo came up in the shout box...

    all that time I was in that hot sweltering kitchen making lamb curry!!!!!!! dying to see what was the cause behind all the excitement!! :P

    and oh boy....:))

    Now i read this...firstly, thanks for doing this post john :) ... u made d dish a whole lot more fun :) by simply being you!

    and i think m gonna wait till i get to have this meal wid u personally rather than trying it out myself...ummm...i will attempt it but pehle i will have it wid u....jab kabhi mauka miley...and mauka toh milega zaroor...m sure of it!!

    and before i run off to bed *luk at the time!!!*... m here this late coz I promised Suchi I'd put up her post....m like i'd have to do it past midnite to keep the gap between posts intact :P

    *sigh* the things I have to do!!!

    have a gud nite to u kal :) .. sweet dreamz:)

  6. much for waiting! I give up :( ... there's another post up *sigh*....

    i guess now i just have to wait till tmrw to get this post up...

    don believe i stayed up so late! on a school nite that too!... and... still missed putting up her post :((((((

  7. **Once ready, dump it in the cooking pot. Curse yourself for not ordering the pizza.

    LOL Johno I think if we ever have dina together, I'd prefer alfresco.


  8. John THE CHEF!! oh no ...yeah kya hogaya..... hahhahahhaha really funny post

    Add the chopped onions and stir occasionally. When you get tired and before the onions get burnt...Wah Wah!! The Oscar for the Best cook goes to Mr John :)))

    I like this post :))

  9. lol..I like this Chef.

    Great post JOhn. Hysterical basically. Lurve it.

    So erm.. is there a name for the dish u have been talking about?:P


  10. ufffffffffff ho chuka!!!!

    if i ever cook like this there would b only 2 possibilities...

    one... i wont get thru my cooking on time

    two... my kitchen would look like a battlefield after a war!


  11. Suchi: A big grin is all I can manage for now :P

    AA: Lol!! It sure is fun isn't it.

    Ishita: Hehehehe.. forget the post, this whole thing zapped me too.

    Keshi: Alfresco it is.. with some potato wedges and hot chicken wings.. my mouth's watering now.

    Poo: Hahaha, thank you. I need to work on my acceptance speech.

    Amy: By the time the cooking is done.. finding a name for it is perhaps the last thing on my mind :P Hmm, let me make one up.

    Messy: I can quite imagine that. Lol!! Or maybe you should give it a try ;)

  12. hehe yep...I dun like wedges all that much unless Im starving n there's nothing else ard...but I dun mind the chicken wings YUMMMMMMM!


  13. lol :) if you really wanted that kitten you should have called up some joint which sells that....should have tried to get the guy who brings it drunk....should see if he gets lured in.....and smash the thing on his face isn't nice....and put a couple of notes in his pocket to tip cops....

  14. lolz Johno I stuffed up the shoutbox. SORRY! I didnt know it can take only 60 msgs per hour. SLACK. Change it to more man. Do something!


  15. lol!!! ^_^ what a chef hehe!

    cool post! *wink*


  16. haha..:) So have u got time u make one up? :P

    ~Jewel Rays:)