This was a wonderful space to hang out in and share our thoughts! But now we've all moved on and simply left our memories behind :-) ...

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

Of addictions and changes... (Ishita)

For me both topics are related. As of now my current addiction is blogging. Quite obvious from the sheer number of blogs I have. But before I make a mention of how blogging has changed my life, I must mention that I have another strong addiction and that is music and dance. Not any particular genre of music. Anything that appeals to me :) and dance would be the same. I would love to formally learn a dance form and maybe I will in time. So far doing the Shiamak classes last year was thoroughly enjoyable :)

Blogging to me, as Keshi mentioned in her last post here, is all about expressing myself.
I've never had a dearth of friends around me. Making friends in diverse age groups, places, etc came naturally to me. Blogging was firstly to express myself and the friends made via blogging was a pleasant addition. Ever since I quit work after Vedant was born, I found myself with less time to go out and socialize. I was quite fine with being home and spending all my time with Vedant. But once he started school, I was left with time in hand and that's when blogging happened...not suddenly but gradually. I wasn't too confident of what I wrote so sharing it in a public forum kind of scared me.

Initial comments on my posts gave me such a rush and for roughly a year I was caught up in the whole blog hopping/comment leaving spree. In time, blogger friends became longer virtual. In time my fascination for writing for an audience waned. My posts became more personal. I moved to a pvt. blog because I didn't think personal expressions should be out in the open for the world at large. That is my personal opinion which others may not necessarily agree with.

If I've met some wonderful people here and made some friends to cherish for a lifetime, I've also come across people who've been totally opinionated and ready to drag people down. Virtual life is much the same as our day to day win some and you lose some!

I can blog about anything and everything and I do. I didn't think I did a good job with poems or fiction but I tried my hand at those too. I still don't know if friends are being kind when they appreciate all that but once in a while when a total stranger comes and leaves a comment appreciating what I write... it does brighten up my day. Ironic isn't it? That I have more people interested in my personal jottings rather than my creative works :) ... I guess people find the whole process of knowing someone through their daily musings, a lot more fascinating...I know I do for sure :)

Blogging has made a huge difference in my life...the change is not only in the way I express myself but in the way I relate to people around me. I could share a lot of joy and fun times with everyone but I kept a lot of pain and hurt away. Blogging helped me rid some of that fear of sharing pain. Not totally but I can get myself to trust some to have the ability to understand me.

Most importantly, Blogging at BUF has taught me lot! A whole lot of good and a smattering of bad :) ... and even in the bad, there was a lot of learning to take away. The most important thing I learnt was "acceptance" - of others, of my faults and of varied opinions. And another thing I have learnt is - sometimes reacting instantaneously in a disagreement gets us to a point of no return. It gets really late to go back and undo any damage that's done! So I try now to wait till the anger ebbs before stating my point :) and oh yes, funny thing is I didn't lose it (my temper) as much before blogging :D... talk about getting expressive!


  1. Hmmm.... a wonderful confession coming from a wonderful person. and frankly, i find noddingmy head with just about every word you've said here, because somehow, I've been affected in a similar manner, except that i don't have a strictly personal blog!! :)
    cheerio.. well written!!

  2. i know what you mean with getting that rush when people comment and express their views on what YOU have written...blogging has not only helped me express better, but also made me learn to not restrict my made me learn a lot about people too!!

  3. ishi...

    u have said it really well...

    blogging is indeed an addiction :):)
    specially for u :p

    Am also happy this whole thing has taught u a lots.. infact others also..

    Life is full of learning and that how one gets wiser day by day.. :)

    am happy i am around to have known u


  4. wow, straight from your heart I guess..I felt it...and am happy I've learnt a lot as well from this world...

    The most important thing I learnt was "acceptance" - of others, of my faults and of varied opinions. And another thing I have learnt is - sometimes reacting instantaneously in a disagreement gets us to a point of no return. It gets really late to go back and undo any damage that's done******

    you got this absolutely right on!


  5. I like this post's crisp and very genuine nature. It's not easy to hv that combination in one.

    Ish u said everything I wanted to say abt blogging :) U always seem to speak my mind..didnt I tell u we were long lost sisters hehe.

    U express from the bottom of ur heart..there's no doubt abt it. I love the nature of honesty in ur posts and how very real they r. Ur personal experiences that u write abt r wut some of us face too and it's great to read how u interpret them...I always learn new things reading ur posts. I must say I have grown alot having known u. So thanks for that Ish!

    **Writing for an Audience

    I first I started writing just for myself..u know to vent out my frustrations. I still do. But as u know my audience has now grown and sometimes I feel Im on a stage, performning for an audience. Cos usually being an upbeat person, whenever I write a sad post, ppl cant seem to accept that. Sometimes it bugs me. Cos Im not a Goddess who can handle anything in life. Im as human as everyone else is. Anyways I still write how I feel, audience or not. Even tho my visitors hv grown in numbers, my style of writing wont blog will always be my conversations with the walls.

    **" - of others, of my faults and of varied opinions

    OMG talk abt Keshi's character revolution LOL! I changed alot after blogging Ish..cos now Im a much more down-to-Earth and relaxed person. I hv gained alot of tolerance than b4. :)

    **reacting instantaneously in a disagreement gets us to a point of no return. It gets really late to go back and undo any damage that's done!

    Very true! d u know I was nick-named "Fast Exit" by my cuzns..cos I used to get upset real quick and leave in the middle of a convo. LOL! Now I dun do that. After blogging and going thru alot of tantrums, I hv learnt to take it slow and react slow too. I mean take my time n think clearly than making hasty decisions.

    Ish I'm glad u hv alot of positives in ur life cos of blogging and Im also glad that u've made REAL friends out of few ppl u met in blogs. Thats just AWESOME! And I saw ur recent BUF meeting pics with Suchi, Vyom and Abhi n ur family. THEY SPEAK FOR THIS POST! Beautiful and thanks for sharing em with me!

    Some day I too hope to meet this LOVELY Ish, God willing. HUGGGGGGGGGGGZ!


  6. o gawwwd I think I just wrote a whole post in that comment. LOL did I say I like expressing?

    btw I had to delete the same comment 3 times b4 cos of some typos :):) Sorry!


  7. Acceptance is something most of us might hv learnt thru blogging, though i still need to master that art properly coz half of my body weight comprises of judgemental germs.

  8. @ sam ... i guess yeah this is a post many of us would agree with coz essentially we all do go thru similar learnings here...the difference I guess lies in our individual reactions to such experiences...good or bad :)

    and ty @ well written :P

  9. @ michelle ... yes "comments" esp. when it's appreciation can be such a high! And it does boost our confidence in our ability to express... it's like being reassured that our opinion matters... like what I say cld make a difference to sumone sumwhere... that's quite a feeling na :)

  10. @ uttsy ... me thinks "blogging" is quite a healthy addiction! :)

    and like every other experience in life, there is a lot to learn here... not just in terms of self expression but of others and the relationships we build here...

    I dunno if I'm wiser... I guess I'd like to believe I am :P

    yes yes... i know i know u're happy to know me :D ... lol.. nahi bolti toh bhi pata hai na mujhe :) ... and u know i feel the same about u!!


  11. @ wacko ... I'd like to believe that that's true of me in everything I do @ "straight from your heart" ... which could explain the impulsive reactions I am prone too!

    Like I often say ... realizing where we can change for the better is a big step forward in itself.

    And we all do that here by simply expressing every emotion here in such an open forum... coz if our expressing can get a reaction and cause others to change...their reactions do the same to us...

    In the end what matter is making the best of what we have and what we get here... I guess...

  12. dance? saheee .. bahut sunn liye gaana mera .. time for u to send ur dance videos :D

  13. ohkkk kesh! wow .. err yes I think that comment could qualify as a post :D

    and as I wrote the post, I knew that many would relate to some of the points I made but you seemed to relate to almost all of it and ur comment goes to show just how much u've identified with the post!! :)

    and to hear u say that u've learnt from all my rambling in my posts is an overwhelming thought indeed :)

    I must say that I do admire the fact that you can write and express every single emotion without really letting any negative reaction bog u down... that calls for an amazing amount of tolerance and acceptance of others. It also shows the sheer belief you have in yourself :)

    lol @ "fast exit" ... incidentally, I was less impulsive before I got started with blogging. I guess the ability to express myself got the better of my ability to judge a situatuion and react but I think I'm learning to strike a balance now *sigh*...never too late to learn right? :)

    and yes we'll meet someday.. lol.. even if I am a tottering old woman then... I'd still go on that drive with you and hang out by the beach :))

    *hugggzzz* .. stay smiling kesh!

  14. @ rajbir ... yeah i guess we all have and the level of acceptance I guess differs from individual to individual...

    as far as being judgemental is concerned... that's again an individual trait. If one can avoid letting it get the better of them, nuthin like it...

    then sum situations it's good to have your own exclusive take on things...

  15. @ jitendra ... aap gaaon ek dhinchak gaana toh hum naachne ka sochenge :D

    the day u sing a "dance-able" song and send me a recording, I will dance to it and share a video...what say? :P

  16. Ish when ur old, I'd be old too. So no worries. both of us can crawl ourselves to the beach and rest on the sand huffing n puffing LOL! :)


  17. hehe... now dat snds gud.. to beautiful old women and a beach@!!! ;)

  18. Hi,Ishita-from the posts so far on this topic,this was the best one- Your reasons for starting to blog,being common with mine,namely,to express myself,with the friends made via blogging being an added bonus,as also reading their comments,seeing how so many people have similar situations,similar doubts,similar lives.
    *I can blog about anything and everything and I do*...I agree,and,this is one of the reasons I like blogging more than writing Letters To Editors,coz,the Editors edit.LOL.

    The last para...Blogging at BUF having taught you both good and bad,but,finally,'acceptance' of others,etc..that was the best para of the post,I think.

    Lastly,*grin* at your not losing your temper much,before blogging.You know why?All those hours in front of a computer's called 'computer vision syndrome',part of the effects is temper-loss:)

  19. @ kesh & sam .. that would make quite a sight :D ... lol

    on a more positive note...i know i'll try to make it to australia long before m old :P ... :)

  20. @ amit ... thanks for sayin that @ "best one" :) ... it's enough to make me wanna keep blogging away to eternity :P

    lol @ letters to the editor getting edited... i know how it cld feel to write anything heartfelt and have someone else slash it away...not funny but then blog posts are our own babies...we define the way we write :)

    @ BUF, I feel everyone learns simply by being a part of reading diff posts and making new frenz...

    aah really "computer vision syndrome" is it? I thot I was simply gettin more expressive than normal :P ... m gonna read up abt this! :)

  21. Am sure everyone has the same thing to say ... I would 100% agree with you here!
    Very well written and expressed :)

    ( And ive written a personal blog too ... and disaster happened when my mom came across that one! lol)

    Anyway ... existence of BUF is all thanks to you ... and it really proves how addicted you actually are to blogging ... and the way u handle things and have been doing so well with the help of ur hubby ... it also proves it IS a big part of ur life :)


  22. @ loon gal ... thanks @ very well written and expressed :)

    aah...i just left a comment on ur post abt ur personal blog and ur mom discovering it!!!

    "existence of BUF is all thanks to you".. thanks :) but honestly, this place works because everyone makes it work... we might've started off with an idea but the idea clicked because of ppl who believed and wanted to be a part of it :)... and that's the main crux of the success of the blog so far...