Must Be Love (Keshi)

You wouldnt believe this - my first crush happened when I was about 5yrs old :). He was a friend of my dad but he was much younger than my dad...maybe this guy was about 18yrs old then. So whenever he visited us at home, I used to stare at him cos I was totally smitten by this young man (maybe cos back then I hadn't yet set my eyes on Russel Crowe?). Used to think how gorgeous this guy was (today I'm thinking he's nowhere close to my taste urrrrgggg!). I was even dreaming of being married to him (yeah I had big dreams at such a young age hehe). Whenever he came home, I used to sit close to him (what was I thinking ha?). When he cracked jokes with my dad and laughed, I used to laugh too (even if I didn't get the jokes at all I wanted to impress him...rolling eyes here). When he sat down to have lunch with us, I used to watch how he ate (yes at that age watching a man eating was like watching Candyman maybe). Whenever he said goodbye I used to feel ow so sad (guess I was a drama queen back then too). I guess he was the first guy I felt some affection for in a romantic manner or so...an innocent crush that THANKFULLY didn't develop any further...cos if it did, I'd never have been able to forgive myself LOL!

First Crush (Abhishek)

I vividly recall,the classroom.

If you were standing at the entrance of the class, you would see... the teachers desk in front of the blackboard ( which was on the right side perpendicular to the wall containing the door)

Starting on the left side of the door, were these three rows of two seater desks and benches, all facing the teachers table with the blackboard behind it.
The last row opposite the entrance door was along the windows.

That after-noon, the orange curtains were drawn to prevent the strong summer sun to enter.
I was sitting on the 1st bench with NJ, Cute round face, bright eyes, slightly big nose, 100 watt smile.

I was in the fifth standard (Class V-B). The three sections of A,B,C had just been shuffled and the current class was a new mix in the new session.

I had fallen for.

That summer afternoon, when the school got over, she forgot her Hanky inside the desk
(yeah typical movie style, I cant stop smirking whenever i recall).

In the brouhaha after the final bell, I called her with one hand in the air, "N!!, Tumahara hanky reh gaya" (N!!, you left you hanky)
She came back took it from me , blushed, turned and ran away to the door.

Over the next two years we would usually be around.
I would just sheepishly keep looking at her.

When we were in 7th class, Me the great, with super-duper encouragements ( Read being pumped) from friends and my brother, mustered the courage on 14th Feb.

Its only a card abhi, they all give to each other, it does not mean any big thing.. go go go.!

Yeah, and the red-faced me, did it.( I just cant stop smiling, even while typing this.what a fool i was, 12 year old yaar, imagine...)

Poor NJ was more baffled as to what hit her. She reluctantly took the card.
...... But after two days, and she was very very sad, and in near tears she returned it.
:(

Understandably, there was a misunderstanding!! Of what the card was meant to be.

We never talked after that, the way we used to....
Till we all parted ways after tenth standard( as our school was only till tenth standard)

I had the card with me till a long time later.

Six years after this incidence, when I was in college in another state in india, someone mentions about a certain bright looking girl called NJ in another class!!

And one of my dear friends wants to hit on her.
Yes, can you believe it she was here (again)

After two years of just hellos and Hi's, we chatted up one day outside the library and laughed and laughed at the past.

She left college abruptly as her familiy moved to USA.
We are still in touch.....
I tore the card later....
_____________________________________________________________________


Coming up ... Crush number 2,3,4,5,6......

First Crush (Aakash)

A school in the foothills of Kumaon,
and a uniform white and navy blue.
One summer like the summers before
somewhere in nineteen ninety two.

I first heard her sing a song from our
school prayerbook in the music class
The way her face drew pictures that
piece of memory it never did pass.

Never knew when with muted feet
she grew on my meddling mind;
but soon I found myself lost, in
thinking about her all the time.

Years passed and sections changed
with different subjects we grew old
but all the time that she was there
to no one ever this story I told.

After half a decade when I saw
her again laughing her own laugh
I was taken back to the old times
just looking at her in our class.

And one evening of last summer
while standing outside her gate
i told her how she was 'the' girl
just the confession came late.

She was amused, a little shocked
and then she broke into her laugh
the same laughter that captured
then told me that time was past

Even today I tell her how she is
the first girl to hijack my fancy
and she rejects, all that I say
with a smile that I can see.

She is leaving for US in a few days, and then maybe I'll see her after an year or so. I didnt have time, so this silly rhyme is all that I could manage (afterall if I didnt write this time too, Ishi would have killed me). And then every first crush deserves to be written about, hai na?

And no, we never were romantically involved. Always friends.